How Leaders Use Slander – And Why It Must Stop – and How To Stop It

Section 1: The Problem Named

There is no such thing as a Biblically-justifiable confidential slander.

Anyone who speaks harm to the reputation of another is responsible for the content; and, the harmed party has the right to know everything said about him or her, and have the right to respond (Deuteronomy 19:15, Proverbs 18:17) This is the commandment set of Scripture, and global standard of Judeo-Christian ethics, and the standard of all non-tyrannical civilizations. As such, it is commanded further by Scripture to be obeyed (Romans 12:17b, 2Corinthians 8:21). The Bill Of Rights in the United States Constitution tells us, “No person shall be deprived of life, liberty, or property (including reputation or standing) without due process of law.” This is the standard Scripture commands us to enfranchise within reach of our arms.

Yet – the “this is confidential” pattern of slander is rampant throughout the Messianic Jewish world’s top echelon operations and power-retention tactics.

1. An enfranchised leader tells someone, “This is confidential.”

2. That leader then says things harming the reputation and standing of another leader or citizen, insisting the target never be told what was said.

3. Proof of the slander is only offered from the harm-doer and others within his or her circle, with the admonition that the listener not tell anyone what was said or by whom.

4. The listener is exhorted to cooperate with the harm-doer by reducing or destroying the good name or standing of the target.

In this way in my lifetime alone, countless modern Messianics have had their careers and social standings eroded or destroyed – and many having had no idea how it happened. They simply awaken one day to find their world is smaller than it was yesterday, less people like, love, or admire them than previously – and there is no trail of how it happened. They never know the names or agendas of their assassins.

It has driven some of the targets to near-madness and near-suicide.

It has made the slanderers rich, and kept them in power.

This must stop.

Section 2: Two Eye-witnessed Real Examples

Let me humanize this reality with two first-hand stories.

These are not anecdotes I have heard: they are episodes I have lived.

I have personally rescued at least two still-practicing members of the clergy who would no longer have their careers – and one of whom would likely have his very life (because he was on the declared brink of suicide) – from the ravages of “this is confidential” slanders directed at them by top echelon leaders with an agenda.

One of these leaders (I am not speaking of myself in third person, this is a rabbi other than me) was simply amassing too much influence in the MJAA in a way not directly resulting from advancement given to him from the central power-cabal; and his theological and praxis views were beginning to gain traction in MJAA conference events in a way that was not only not affirmative of the highest echelon’s focus, but also in an arena in which the top echelon had minimal competence.

It was decided – in nearly these very words - and I was personally present when this was said in councils, “(So-and-So) needs not to be the focus at these services. He can’t be in charge. We need to replace him with others and not let him be seen as this important.” This was said, not because he was incompetent or heretical or any other such charge brought into the open and proven through due process: this was said, and done to him, specifically and intentionally to reduce him because the man was, in the words of another credentialed theologian, “shining a little too brightly.”

He was shoved to the margins of the very events of which he had been chief influencer in bringing about, and a darling from the inner circle who could not find his way around these events with both hands and a flashlight was put in charge. What ensued during services led by the inner cabal’s choice was a disgrace of incompetence; all being done in the presence of the highly-competent leader who was never told directly by anyone why he was being shoved aside.

I know why because I was closer to the inner circles than he was in this season, and I was present when this deliberate and unjustified harm was being fomented. I spoke up for him, but to no avail. I had to rush to where this leader lived in the middle of the night once, because his wife phoned me to say she feared he was about to kill himself that night, out of despair at the way his career and reputation were mysteriously being destroyed by unseen and unknown forces being allowed to ruin all he had built and become. I was able to rescue him by speaking to one of the top members of the innermost ruling cabal, and point out the unjustified nature of the attacks on my colleague, and the way to fix the growing situation of open discontent building in regard to his ruin and deflection. The top echelon guy apparently heeded my advice, because the attacks soon suddenly stopped, and the leader was allowed to continue his successful theological and praxis influencing – albeit, with the inner cabal dogging his every step, looking for ways to insert themselves so as to appear to be part of the inspired and inspiring source of the innovations being created.

The “this is confidential” in-the-shadows slander campaign to diminish the charismatic and influential actual leader nearly drove him mad, as he watched his career tanking with no source of harm having the integrity or courage to attack in the open with anything of substance. There was no substance on the slanderers’ side: there was only fear of loss of power and status. The more this innovator had, the less gloried a focus the others had – and the others saw themselves as the only rightful repositories of inspiration or focus or high-standing.

Another new congregation-founding rabbi in another part of the USA was being ruined from the shadows, apparently for monetary and political reasons. He led a new congregation a wealthy friend of mine who respected my judgment as a spiritual/ethical leader was attending. One day, I got an email from an influential leader in Messianic Judaism, asking me to use my relationship and influence to direct my affluent friend not to attend the new synagogue being formed by his newly-ordained close friend. I was told by this influential leader that the new synagogue had been formed out of order, and the leader did not have “real” credentials for a pastoral role of any kind. No proof of these statements was proffered for me to evaluate or confirm. My use of influence was asked as a kind of personal favor: one that would have kept my wealthy friend (and his tithes and offerings) from leaving the first congregation to join the new one.

If I had done what was being asked of me, it probably would have financially killed the new congregation in its infancy by depriving it of its largest source of financial support; and, it surely would have killed the leader’s career to be tagged as having falsified having credentials, being a fomenter of out-of-order creation of a congregation, and as defiant to sound process.

What I did next was kindergarten-level spirituality.

I contacted the criticized leader and told him what was said to me about him – and I asked to hear his side of the story. (Deuteronomy 19:15, Proverbs 18:17, Matt. 18:16, and 2 Corinthians 13:1, and concerning an Elder, 1 Timothy 5:19-21 all mandate this vetting-verification obligation before visiting harm/reduction on anyone).

The new rabbi instantly denied both charges, and eagerly offered documentary and witness proofs. He sent me copies of his ordination certificates, with the phone numbers and emails of the seminary and officials having issued them; and he outlined his process of forming his new congregation, all of which was perfectly in accord with Biblical order and his association’s constitution. I forwarded them to the appropriate judiciary authorities in our sphere – and voilà – the problem disappeared, and the new rabbi and congregation were safe.

Problem solved.

Which tends to happen when you do things the way God commands to do them. :-)

I have a letter from the new rabbi, gratefully thanking me for saving his congregation and reputation, offered by specifically so this matter would be “on the record.” On my part, it was an honor to serve in the above two situations, simply by being a brother and colleague who (as God gave me grace) walked in God’s commandments. “Their ways are ways of pleasantness, and all their paths are shalom.” As John LeCarré’s hero in The Russia House put it: “If I find the courage to act like a hero, will you find the courage to act like a merely-decent human being?”

The above two real-life cases I experienced first-hand are only a few snowflakes lying atop a huge iceberg.

This pattern has been and remains a massive presence in how the modern Messianic Jewish world has been governed for the last third of the twentieth century, and first quarter of the twenty first. I do not want to tell all the war stories I have of this pattern. I am not an officer in some “Internal Affairs Squad” in Messianic Judaism. I did not sign up for such things to be my focus. I signed up for “The Return” (Deut. 30:1-6, Ezekiel 36:24-36, John 17:3, Acts 21:18-24). To our God, our Messiah, and Our Own Land.

Section 3: Position & Income Anxiety - And Their Outcomes

However - we must “name the frame” to heal.

As the old cliché goes, “the first step in getting well is acknowledging you are unwell.”

If the only people allowed to shine are those who consider themselves “the chosen” leadership – or were personally selected by them even if they lack the requisite gifts for a position, we are stuck in something between a cult and a joke.

God is the one who gives gifts, as Scripture in both testaments tells us. (Psalm 68:18, Romans 12:3 Scripture teaches us in the example of King Saul’s reaction to King David’s recognition by The People — when unhealthy dominance-anxiety, maintenance-mechanisms, or unhealthy leaders are in place –– especially leaders too insecure to rejoice in the gifts God has given others — as we are shown in the rise as King David in King Saul’s army in how Saul reacted when people began praising David’s gifts above those of his King. He went flat-out insane with jealousy and insecurity. He became irrationally committed to murdering his own son-in-law, a war-hero! And he used the Israeli Army for the repeated attempted assassinations!

Additionally - the only people who are kept safe or who can rise in such a King Saul or Mafia environment are people inside the chosen “crew.” Those who have either “kissed the ring” or “drunk the Kool-Aid” - or even sold their souls for elevation (like Doëg the Edomite, who rose in King Saul’s favor by murder of the innocent: including an entire city of God’s Cohenite Priesthood.

That is how The Mafia functions. If you are a “made guy” (the boss and his grew consider you one of theirs) –– then no one can touch you; and no one who is not “a made guy” can shine. And a “made guy” can safely harm or kill anyone he wants; and he has to harm or kill whoever the boss orders him to innocent or not.

These patterns must change for Messianic Judaism to cease to be “The Wild West” and become a healthy civilization.

We are a pioneer movement of The Return.

There is no way to pioneer but to go to an empty wilderness and build.

Pioneer fleas come with the pioneering dog. This is why The Torah and The Mishnaic Noachide Laws command the creation of courts of justice and the installation of judges (legal experts) and officers (law-enforcement) everywhere.

We must weather this season of history, and give into it what it really needs. What the American Wild West needed was law and order. Law and order were not easy to provide. They take focus, intention, and effort: serious, long-term, relentless effort.

Section 4: Fixing The Problem

The changes needed are simple – their implementation will take time and great effort, because that process will require underlings “speak truth to power” – always a risky endeavor.

Firstly – it must be clear – there is NO SUCH THING AS a “confidential” slander. It does not matter who the speaker of the harm to another’s reputation or standing is. The Biblically-REQUIRED conduct of the listener is:

1. Stop the speaker as soon as his or her intent becomes clear, and direct them to speak only to the parties involved in the matter, and in line with due process as per Matt. 18:15-17 in regard to confinement of the matter to the smallest possible number of involved parties.

2. Inform the speaker that anything already heard which has harmed the reputation of anyone will result in the listener going to the other party to hear their side of the story. (Proverbs 18:17)

3. Insist the Biblical demands for such harm to a person’s reputation be fulfilled.

(A) No one will suffer any harm unless any and all charges are supported by two or more qualified, unbiased witnesses (Deuteronomy 19:15, 1Tim. 5:21) and all evidence is verified (2Corinthians 13:1).

(B) the matter will be confined to the smallest possible circle of involved parties necessary for handling toward resolution (Matthew 18:15-17)

(C) No “tale-bearing” (spreading one side of a conflict) of any kind will be permitted, no matter who wants to do it. (Leviticus 19:16)

(D) No passive allowance of known harm-speaking is permitted. The believer realm has an “honor code” commanded by God, in which we all share responsibility for harm done by harm-speaking. (Leviticus 5:1) As it is said here in New York City, expressive of our shared responsibility for the security of our town from terrorism, “If you see something or hear something – say something!” Beyond this, famed ethicist Nissim Taleb wrote, “If you see fraud, and do not say fraud, you are a fraud.” Leviticus 5:1 declares the one who knows of a slander and does not bring to the relevant authorities what he or she knows, is as guilty of the harms done by the false words as the speaker of those words.

CLOSING: JUST SAY “NO”

The primary fix is needed at the most crucial point, and requires courage: when a highly enfranchised leader approaches a less enfranchised person and seeks to speak harm about another, saying “This is confidential” – the hearer needs to do what former First Lady of the United States, Nancy Reagan advised about drugs: “Just say no.”

There is no such thing as a Biblically-justifiable confidential slander: not for anyone’s use.

Refuse to assist or enact harm to anyone outside Biblical due process.
Direct the speaker to go only to the directly involved parties.
Notify any harmed parties of what is being spoken about them, and by whom.
Notify any relevant governing or accountability authorities if speaker or target are members of an association with any ethics accountability standards.

So – let’s fulfill Yeshua the Messiah’s directive, and show ourselves to be members of His crew, and God’s family. (Matthew 12:50, John 14:15)

And by so doing – let’s save a lot of lives, and quality-of-life, now and in the times to come.

Rabbi Bruce L. Cohen

Congregation Beth El of Manhattan • bethelnyc.org • brucecohenwordsmusic.com

S.O.T.R.U. Essay 6: “Psst…This is ‘Confidential’”